How do you round up six-and-a-half years in a single blog post without turning it into a novel in its own right? My final Blackthorn post was going to be a summary of all the pivotal moments during the Blackthorn journey. You might remember some of them. I certainly won’t forget Hollywood optioning Blood Shadows for film, or being contacted by Tantor Media with a request to make audiobooks of the first three books, or sitting next to Stephen King in the Top 50 on Amazon.com, let alone all of those Gothic and PNR number ones… there were somany exciting moments; surreal but fantastic moments. And they matter. All of them matter. But something else matters too, so I chose to dedicate this post to that instead.

My Dad passed away twelve years ago this month. Even now I remember it as if it were yesterday, wondering how we’d ever get through what lay ahead. Amidst the numbness were the overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, of fear, and of despair. On top of that was the intense sense of injustice that cancer – a rare, incurable, aggressive form of cancer – had indiscriminately stolen a massive part of all our lives. My Dad had fought for seven years, exceeding all expectations after being given merely months to live at the young age of forty-eight. But now the chapter had ended. And there was no happy ending. There was no miracle waiting to happen anymore.

In fact, I stopped believing in miracles for a long time after that. This is from someone who used to trust in them unreservedly; who’d spent her childhood believing she actually would be able to fly one day, and that maybe she’d find Narnia at the back of a wardrobe. I think that inner child will always be a part of me. It’s ultimately why I write fantasy: where anything is possible and you aren’t constrained by the rules of reality. That’s why watching your hero die in front of your eyes is hard. It changes the way you see the world.

Was does all of this have to do with Blackthorn? Well, it has everything to do with Blackthorn.

It was during the aftermath that I pulled Blackthorn out of my bottom drawer from under a pile of other short stories and half-finished novels I’d been working on over the years. After all, it was one of the last things my Dad had said to me: to make the most of life, to do what I love doing, and to not be afraid of what other people think. I spread my unfinished series out over my desk and decided to take a long, hard look at it. More importantly, to stop seeing Blackthorn as a labour of love as I always had but, instead, as a series with the potential for an audience i.e. a series that, one day, might be published.

At the same time I realised that I’d always held a deep-rooted fear about the prospect of finally being published. Being published exposes you to rejection, to criticism, to put-downs, even mockery. When you don’t have much confidence to start with, those things are hard to subject yourself to. Grief can make you even more vulnerable. With that in mind, maybe it wasn’t the right time to finally be facing those fears head-on. But grief can also switch the way you see things. Sometimes it can generate a fearlessness born out of wanting to grab every moment while you can.

If you know anything about my backstory, you’ll know that in 2010 I entered Blood Roses into an online romance writing competition. I’d hesitated until the very last five minutes before the competition closed. This was not a competition where you could discreetly enter and walk away – this involved entries going up live on an online forum to be read and commented upon by a romance audience, more so to be judged and voted for by them AND editors. There was one almighty prize for runners-up though: editorial feedback. I’d never had anyone read Blackthorn, let alone give feedback. And so I took the leap.

Blood Roses made it into the final. While I was waiting for my editorial feedback, I entered the competition again in 2011 – this time with the opening chapters of Blood Shadows. I reached the final again, the only author to have made the final in two consecutive years. I finally allowed myself to hope that maybe my writing had some merit, some potential, and that maybe the publisher responsible would select one of the books and consider it worthy of publication.

It didn’t happen.

I’d resolved that maybe there was only one place for Blackthorn: back in my bottom drawer. Subsequently 2012 nearly marked the end of sixteen years of Blackthorn. But at least, if nothing else, I’d faced my fears and tried. More so, I’d finally pushed myself into having a much-needed presence online. My husband helped me set up a blog – this blog. Chatting to readers and authors became commonplace for the first time. I forged connections, I received encouragement and support for Blackthorn, and I made friends. I had no idea how long it would take to finally see Blackthorn published but now I’d officially started on the journey, I wasn’t ready to quit.

I’d only just started the submissions process when another publisher approached me out of the blue. Bookouture was looking for a launch author. The CEO had read my entries in the competition. Of course he had. In a twist of fate, the competition I’d entered had been his brainchild. Blood Shadows and Blood Roses were requested with the possibility of Bookouture being interested in signing three. Conversations evolved: there might even be the potential for me to write a long-standing series, one possibly with an overarching plot – if I saw potential in that too? They had no idea at the time about the sixteen years I’d spent compiling exactly that. At the end of 2012, the first book in the Blackthorn series was published. Needless to say, the rest is history.

Sometimes positive things do happen – and when you least expect it.

It hasn’t been easy though. I want to say that to reassure all the authors out there going through a tough time. Blackthorn has been anything but smooth sailing. Whilst working on book 3, I was even asked by my publisher if I was sure I wanted to keep going with as many books as we had planned: if I still wanted to write to the end of the series, or stop and turn to something else instead – something with more commercial viability, something that would reflect current trends. Authors need to make a living. To do that, they need readers. Lots of readers. The genre was already being hard hit. Publishers were closing down on submissions of PNR. In some cases they were ending lines altogether. The surge for the genre was over. You know what my answer was though. After all, two months ago today the final book was published.

What can I say? The optimist in me fought through. Sometimes, however hopeless it may seem, if you believe in something you have to hold on. More so, ultimately, it’s Blackthorn’s mantra. It’s why it’s called Blackthorn. On top of that, the characters and their journey were important to me, no doubt partly because I related so strongly to the theme that had become the common thread between the eight main characters: each one of them had suffered life-changing loss and had reached the pit of despair. Each had had to find their own way of managing what they’d been through and find a way to survive. How could I not see those stories through to the end, especially knowing it was their fight for survival, for a better future, that would eventually bring them all together? And that it was that bringing together that would create the change so desperately needed in their world to improve the lives of countless others.

So, at book 3, the series was rebranded and a marketing drive was put into Blackthorn – and it finally flew. Most of you, I know, went on to discover Blackthorn through that. Readers who also became determined to see this story through to the end, just like I had. That’s why this post is dedicated to you.

Fiction is about escapism. Whether you want your books rooted in reality or in fantasy, whether you want escape for fun or maybe for relief from tough times, books are about immersing ourselves somewhere else. If we’re lucky, we’ll find stories, people and places that resonate with us on some level, that offer us something we need at that time, whatever that need might be and for whatever reasons we may have for it. Some stories we’ll forget a week later, some will stay with us for a lifetime. Your love for my Blackthorn characters and their world will stay with me for a lifetime. When I pulled Blackthorn out from my bottom drawer that day so many years ago, I never dreamt of the impact it would go on to have on so many of you.

So this final post is for all the fantastic people I’ve met through Blackthorn – in person and online. Thank you for all the laughter, fun and support over the past few years. I’m in awe of all of the connections and friendships that have developed amongst my readers through this series. And knowing that Blackthorn brought distraction, comfort and escape for so many of you just as it had me means more to me than you’ll ever know. When I tell you I understand, I truly do.

I know a lot of you are going to miss these characters and this place. I know it has felt like home for many of us. Bringing Blackthorn to a conclusion was tough, and letting it go even more so. I know many of you have felt as though you’ve said farewell to friends, family even. I felt exactly the same when I wrote the last line. It’s hard to believe this journey started with nothing but a blank piece of paper and an electric typewriter, where I sat alone in my small flat over twenty years ago with no idea where it would lead. I’ve had my fair share of dreams come true with this series, but having had people fall in love with these books as many of you have has exceeded everything I could have possibly imagined. What more can an author ask for?

That being said, this series was my debut. I’ve barely even started. Hopefully you’ll stay with me to see what I have in store next. If not, thank you so, so much for reading Blackthorn. Thank you for being a part of this journey through the sunshine and the rain, and for sharing your love for these books so openly with me and with other readers too. Reading your comments and final reviews of Blood Broken has ended this series on such a high for me, I can’t thank you enough for that. Team Blackthorn, you’ve been absolutely amazing.

Huge hugs from Caitlin, Kane, Leila, Caleb, Phia, Jask, Jessie and Eden… oh, and me too!

Take care.

Linds xxx